Sunday evening thoughts

Hey all, 

I was thinking today about the week I had last week, and the week I am heading into. Tests every day but Tuesday and I'm just a tiny bit stressed out. Or I was... My sister posted this quote on my wall and it was incredibly encouraging: 
"Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives.
Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control." - Crazy Love

Ponder that quote throughout your next couple of days. It seemed like as soon as I saw that, I was surrounded  by reminders of my stressful attitudes. Today it was hammered in a little bit more at church. While this hurts, I am so thankful that God has opened my eyes to my sin in the way of stress. What a merciful Lord we serve. 

I'm going along with the previous post and taking some me time tonight. While I do have a huge Marketing test tomorrow at 9am, I'm going to leave that up to you guys to pray me through and take some time tonight to rest. I haven't studied as much as I should, but hey.. I studied a ton for the last one and I didn't exactly do awesome on it. So I've just given into it and I'm going to do my best and think through it. Memorizing for those tests never helps... Except for those five steps in order. Err... maybe I should study those after I get off. :) 

I got completely off topic. This weekend has been lovely. I spent most of Saturday at church babysitting, and all of this morning at church for worship, then again this evening at church babysitting. This weekend has been filled with the beautiful reminders of the way kids view life, and I needed that. I'm t-minus three weeks until I get to go home and be with my family for spring break. (YES!!!) But I was thinking today about how much I wish away the days. Tomorrow I'm already wishing to be over because of that test and an interview. But guess what? Tomorrow is a day I can give completely to the Lord! I can praise His beautiful name and share His love with students all over this campus. I don't have to be grumpy. I don't have to be stressed. My day can be wonderful and filled with as much happiness that I am willing to throw in. 

Friday I came back from Pure Joy and walked in the door giggling at my best friends happiness. I told them some news and I quickly turned the light happy mood into frustration and stress. That hit me like a brick and I broke down crying when one of my friends approached me about it. Then it came out--I have been punishing myself for some past sin. I have pushed myself into thinking that I DESERVE to suffer, and that is a lie that satan wants me to believe. I cried it out and praised the Lord for His mercy in revealing this to me. It was a big deal for me, and maybe this comment about it will help you to see that whatever you may be going through, God is NOT EVER using it to punish you. That has already been paid on the cross! I may have totally screwed up, but because of a repentant heart and the mercy our Lord shows, I am CLEAN of it ALL. There isn't any bit of it that He is looking in disgust at and saying "She needs to go through xyz because of this!!" We serve a God of so much grace and mercy. Rest in that. 

I love you guys. I know I have become distant here at school, but I love and think of you all often. I pray you are resting in His grace this evening, and if you are not, that some bit of this helped you to find that grace. 

Love, 
Elizabeth