Quiet Time

It's been forever...

I was lying on my roommates bed trying not to completely break down crying and trying to vent what was on my heart. I decided to vent it on here, because that is, after all, where I so often used to.

My schedule this semester is challenging. I'm taking 19 credit hours, but they might as well be 21 since I am taking 7 classes. They like to tell you that one credit classes aren't that hard. They lie, I promise. You still do just as much work for a one credit class as you do a three credit class.

My schedule is as follows:
Elementary Spanish 8:00 MWF
Principles of Marketing 9:00 MWF
Accounting 1 10:00 MWF
Lifetime Wellness 11:00 MW
Intro into Graphic Arts 2:00 MWF

Mathematical Inquiry 8-9:30 TR
Composition 1 9:30-11:00 TR

Work:
11-4 TR
A weekend:
Friday 11-1:45
Saturday 6-11:30 (Lately it has been 6-1:30 because of the amount of work needed done)
Sunday 6-11:30

So writing that down, that doesn't seem like too much. But add in convocations, club events, projects for class, chapel, ARTOS, and off campus work it get's overwhelming.

Silly me. Last semester I thought I'd be set for this semester. "Oh I can easily take seven classes, work off campus, and be more involved this semester." Well my semester may have been a little more easy if I had gotten that job I was so set on where I could spend 15 hours a week on the clock studying for those seven classes. But God didn't want me in that position, so I stayed at work. Physically and emotionally draining work.. What had I gotten myself into?

A lot of hardships. I'm on week six of the semester. Just three weeks away from midterms and I am panicking with the amount to be done. So much that I'm finally getting to the point of this post:

I have made myself to believe that quiet time, resting time, any time that I have extra outside of class and work is homework time. I study constantly. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, 12:30-1:50, 3-9:0 Tuesdays and Thursdays, 4:30-9:30. Last semester I was happy about the fact that my work schedule was changing to working later in the day so I wouldn't be up at 5am anymore. That's not how things worked out. I am up almost every day at five studying. Two weeks ago, five hours of studying went to Accounting alone.

Today I got back from a hard morning, and saw a note from my roommate. "Try and make some quiet time for you and God today, I'm praying for you. James 1:2-3". I started crying, frustratingly thinking, "I can't! All I have time for is studying!!" Then God decided it was a great time for learning. Sometimes, in the midst of your busy semester, you have to stop. I have put my semester above God. Thinking if I just do good on that test or quiz, it'll be ok and I'll be stronger. Just to find out that I have been starving myself of the ONE and ONLY thing that *will* make me stronger! I associated any time not spent studying as myself being lazy and being a bad person. When taking a break to breathe and rest in the Lord and in His word is just what I need. How can I get stronger if I do not have these things?

I cannot.

Here is my prayer: Lord, please help me. Please show me that taking time to dive into Your word and breathe and rest in you is not being lazy. Help me learn to study better outside of the time I spend resting in You. Help me to learn to be more attached and in love with You. Help me, Father. I have no more strength in my own body.

Love,
Elizabeth