As of Late

Hello dear ones,

I am sorry for such a lack of postings over the summer. My summer was pretty swamped and so much has happened. I am home today, as I am on Tuesdays and Thursday so I can get as much school in as I can while still working. Work has been pretty stressful, and as I am into my work and care a lot about the company I work for, I deal with it all the time. I am praying for the company and the positions that we are in right now. That by His grace, things will be good and that we will make it through this rough patch. God is bigger than these problems and people- I know that He is.

The 10th passed by this last Saturday. It started out pretty rough. But in the end, we all had a good day and a nice time together. I am still sad that even now, some people still need the attention and how they do things towards us in order to get that. I pray for their souls and relationships.

I am feeling pretty overwhelmed this morning. I have so much to do, and no time to get it all done. I have to buckle down and work, work, work for as far as I can see. Some days I just get overwhelmed and long for heaven so much. I think this morning is one of those mornings.

I know that being this stressed is not good for me at all. For the first part stress and worry IS SIN. IT is sin over, and over, and over again, no matter way you look at it. God is handling everything just the way it needs to be handled, and in a beautiful way that brings Him the glory! Why should I want anything other? Well, because I am a human. Because I want things that make ME happy, and that make ME feel good. But that is not what I want, by God's grace. I want HIM to be glorified and HIM to be praised. Stress affects me physically, as well. Normally I break out with a virus or get sick to my stomach and lose my appetite for several days, but this time, it broke out with Strep B, which resulted in 104 degree fevers on the way home from AR last weekend. Mama took me in to the dr. last Tuesday and they didn't know what was wrong with me until they sent the results out. Mama found out that Strep B stays in your system forever if you have it, but it also flares in various ways-- my stress is the flare cause and so that is why I have been getting sick so much. I was down for about 5 days with that, but I am doing better now and back at work again. I am thankful for God's provision in these things.

Even as I sit here on the couch on this beautiful morning, I can see all of the beauty that Christ is working this morning. My stress level is lower already after prayer and meditation on Him, writing here, and some issues at work being almost resolved.

Please pray, friends. I need it so much right now.

I love you all so very, very much.

Elizabeth Kara

Journal entries

Reading some from my journals. I have been missing Amy a lot the past couple of days as September continues to creep closer marking the 4 year anniversary of her death.

Date: Monday, September 10th, 2007

Page number: 6

Journal: 6

Hey,

Sorry I didn't write more yesterday. I had it in the games bag and we left for the zoo and when we came back nobody brought it in o I didn't get to write. When we were leaving for the zoo, we saw Harli, Harla, and Gary coming out of Applebee's so we invited Harli to come along. She did and sat by me and Christi in the van. She's really quiet so we didn't talk much, only when I brought up a conversation

Page number: 7

Date: Continued

topic. Like, do you like this animal? or do you want to see any certain animals? Emma and Daniel took us to the zoo. Dad dropped us off. Amy was doing a bit better by 9 last night. Her breathing has slowed down into the lower 30's instead of high 30's early 40's. We left around 9 and got dinner at McDonalds. Late dinner. :P We got home around 11:30 and went to bed. I'll write later.

Love, Lizzie<3

Page number: 8

Date: after lunch

Hey,

Right now everybody's watching Star Wars. It came in Blockbuster so that's why we're watching it. I'm all finished with my school except with Math. Oooh! I hate math! I have to do three lessons to make up for Thursday and Friday. I think that I'll work on one right after I finish writing. Hopefully I'll get it all done! I need to otherwise I'll just keep putting it off and I'll never finish my Math. I'll write later.

Love, Lizzie<3

Page number: 9

Date: Mid afternoon

Hey,

I finished doing two lessons of Math. Now all I have to do is one more! :) Yeah! I'll do that one while we all watch Arthur. I'm tired. Emma said that Amy wasn't doing good this morning. Brandon stayed the night at the hospital. Lord, Please heal Amy, Please! Make her all better so she can be a mommy for Gary. Please Lord, please! Maker her all better! Please...

Love, Lizzie<3

Can I Be Honest

What if I spoke w/ complete honest-ness
What if told you that I've broken some promises
I dealt with pride ever since a little kid
I've comprised and I've doubted like Thomas did
I can't hide though he sees the way I live
Every single time I told every little fib
I can't deny cause he's already knowing this
But to my wife I regret the time that I've missed
I've been on the road when I really should've been home
Been on the phone and took calls I should've left alone
I shouldn't have done that see I want you to know
I should've been with you then out trying to get dough
I still got issues that's hard to let go
Still got some bitter situations with a few folks
Still got a temper that I work hard to control
I gotta remember your standard that's the goal

Can I be honest?
Can I be real?
Would they still just to how I feel?
But if I was honest ?
If I was real?
Would they even care about how I feel?
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/k/kj_52/can_i_be_honest.html ]
I've wanted to get back at those who tried to doubt me
I've wanted to hit back every time they tried to clown me
I've said some things about those that tried to down me
I've been too hard on some people that's been around me
I'm a workaholic addicted to the game
Plus sometimes I've been addicted to the fame
I look deep inside things that I'm ashamed
Still the little kid conflicted still in pain
I'm so grateful when I think though how you found me
I used to be hateful of everything that's around me
I'm so thankful of the way that you still surround me
So shameful yet you love me still confounds me
See I've put myself first
I've gone days sometimes without reading your word
I've acted like a huge jerk
Yet you still love me that's the thing that I've learned

Sometimes I dumb down to sell a few records
Didn't do it though just to get a little cheddar
But looking back I could've made some of my songs better
Hindsight is 20/20 so I'm like whatever
But I regret some of my broken relationships
No matter how hard I've tried to just make em fit
And I don't blame myself and I'm not blaming them
But too many up in my life have just came and went
I'm not perfect I serve a God who is
I serve a God who lives who says that I'm his kid
When I shoot for the mark but I shoot and miss
I serve a God who gives a new start and he forgives
And takes every thing I ever did
Then he throws it in the sea of forgetfulness
See I'm just being honest I hope your getting this
Cuz he's my promise the reason that I live

Crashing Down

These back steps are steeper to the ground
The brightest stars are falling down
I’m walking the edge, walking the tightest rope
We can be frank, reality rips on through, rolling like a hurricane
I’m over the bridge and under the rain
If everything’s falling, if everything’s changed
If I’m in the open, if I’m in the way
What am I doing here
If you’re not with me
What have I got to live for, if it’s just my own dream
Take it back to the beginning, back to the start
When gravity’s pulling, you’re still holding my heart
You come crashing down
Crashing down
These four walls are closing in on me
The talk is louder than I’ll sing
I want to be there, want to be where you are
but you know it all, Every look and smile that aren’t meant to break
I’m over the bridge and under the rain
If everything’s falling, if everything’s changed
If I’m in the open, if I’m in the way
What am I doing here
If you’re not with me
What have I got to live for, if it’s just my own dream
Take it back to the beginning, back to the start
When gravity’s pulling, you’re still holding my heart
You come crashing down
Crashing down
And you say that everything is different, why don’t we just hold on
And you say that everything is different, why don’t we just hold on
Crashing down

-Mat Kearney

"Praise Him! Praise Him! Tell of His excellent greatness"

Hi friends,

I wanted to get a post in here. I miss writing. My blog has become my journal in a lot of ways. Which makes me sad because I'm not writing it down in my journal, but at the same time, I'm writing it down *somewhere*, so that's good.

The past few days have been pretty crazy for me. Christ is continuing to break down on my self reliance, and it hurts a lot. See I had this thought- this thought that I would have it easy after the ACT was over because I wouldn't have to study.

Apparently laziness was on the agenda, too.

I found out on Monday that I needed to get a new Quickbooks' file to Kim and that I needed to get it ASAP. I avoided it until I came in on Tuesday, then found out that I was going to need to enter all of the transactions from the end of September to the end of December. Do you know how many that is?

Well it's actually a lot.

So I pretty much told my boss that I hated him and then went for a walk to pray.

Then got the number down to 299 and decided to call it a night and go spend some time with A. and her family. I had a very lovely time.

Then it was Wednesday.

Wednesday almost beat Monday.

So it started off really, really well. I prayed about the day a lot, spent a lot of time focusing on getting things done, making them run as smoothly as possible. Especially since my boss was going to be gone from the start of the day until around 2.

I went in with a great attitude, jumped on the pile of things to do, and saw the bottom of the pile quickly. It was starting off beautifully. I started off with cleaning, then got the orders printed, sorted, specs taken down and put up for Josh, called Josh to ask him to come in an hour early, got all of the computers that Josh needed out and ready for him to get ready to ship, took care of some tasks that my boss had asked me to do, etc. Ben got there, Josh got there, and then Issac got there five minutes late. I was just about to click the send button on the phone to "yell" at him for not being there yet.

Ben got started on the things he needed to do on the website, Josh got started on the computer, and Isaac got sent out the door to do a service call in St. James.

I'm telling you, I was on top of things.

Ha. Then Isaac got back, Ben needed passwords I didn't have so I had to text Mike and ask him for them, Josh started having problems with acronis, Isaac didn't know which computers to start on, and the calls went out to Mike. But then they calmed down, I got down to around 150 transactions, finished entering all of the checks, went and got packing peanuts and stopped at Staples to get a few things. I got back and the day started to fall apart.

Which I can't tell you this part. But something bad happened and we didn't loose, but we didn't gain.

Fail. Fail. Fail.

It wasn't my fault, but I was there when it unfolded which is in itself, enough.

I wanted to puke, I finished up things before lunch, took a call from my boss about how things were going, got him feeling a little bit better after the disaster, told Isaac that I was actually *going* to puke if I didn't eat lunch, and then left to have it.

The afternoon went as follows:

Called A.

A. returned the call.

Drank an orange soda.

Sat out in the shade with my feet in the sun while I talked to A.

Got a call from my Mama that exposed some sick information and was scared for the afternoon.

Told A. said information about a certain person I used to see three days a week.

Wanted to sob.

Ended lunch break.

Tried to get Josh moving on computers because we needed to be moving FASTER.

Tried to do more QB and failed.

Watched my boss walk in the door.

Prepared myself for the horrible afternoon that was about to unfold.

Made the deposit.

Didn't want to come back from doing the deposit.

Watched Josh get "talked" to about the slow progress.

Watched Isaac get "talked" to about the slow progress.

Wanted to go home.

Watched a mess up unfold that had to do with Josh.

Wanted to go home.

Tried to think of something to make it better.

Failed.

Watched my stress level go up to 900. ("And my cholesterol went up to 900!")

Got an apology from my boss for causing my stress level to go up to 900.

Watched my boss apologize to Josh for getting upset with him.

Did something that I don't remember

Watched Josh leave for the day for not making enough progress.

Watched Isaac leave for the day since he was leaving at 3am for Iowa.

Cracked down on the orders and knocked out over half of them with my boss.

Got the boxes out the door for the FedEx drivers. (Julie is AWESOME.)

Found out about an order mistake.

Got bad feedback on Amazon from said mistake. (Which is now gone, because as soon as we caught it, we got with the customers *right* away and they were really happy.)

Packed.

Packed.

Packed.

Packed.

Got a call from A.

Packed.

Packed.

Packed.

Made 23,000 shipping labels.

Enjoyed getting to have A. come.

Put said shipping labels on the boxes.

Cleaned.

Watched A. clean.

Watched A. try to fix the shredder that I broke.

Watched my boss laugh at A. for trying to fix that failure of a shredder.

Said goodnight to my boss.

Tried to fix the shredder with A.

Went to Radio Shack with A.

Went to KFC for dinner with A. At like 8:45.

Went to Walmart.

Saw the Hamachers.

Went to the gas station with A.

Went to get the car at work.

Said goodbye to A.

Went and got gas for the car.

Drove home and chatted with my Mama.

Arrived home safely and went to sleep.

So the point of that was to show you in a weird way how my day unfolded. But the reason for showing you that was to show you God's huge mercy.

My day started out with Christ. It had Christ in the middle. It ended with Christ.

He is with me always and forever. Even when my stress level was up to 900 and I wanted to be done with it, He was there and holding me safe.

He loves me *so* much. He protected me from so many things. He blessed in *so* many ways.

So even though your day may or may not have been rough, Jesus is there. Just like always, and making things work according to His will.

Have a beautiful weekend, friends. Enjoy His love and praise Him forever.

Elizabeth

A... Monday. Just a Monday

ASJfkBF!

Today was yucky.

I think that I'm glad it's never going to be here again.

Mostly because I was in *such* a horrible mood the entire day, and therefore, it doesn't need to come back.

I hate my sick little sinner of a self. I don't know why today was bad, and that's most of the horrid part. I hate not understanding why I feel like that.

Wait a minute.

I felt like I did because I'm a sinner. I'm so self-centered, I'm *exhausted*, I'm feeling pressure, I'm tired of the daily grind, I'm tired of messing up and forgetting. I'm just *me*.

And sometimes I get really sick of myself. Which is unfortunate for those around me because I spend the entire time fighting myself.

I was dead by 9 this morning. 8:45, actually. I kept looking at my computer clock- wishing it was noon so I could leave and have some quiet time for an hour.

Ha. Three and a quarter hour away.

So I jumped the gun and told my boss that I needed five minutes. Which turned into more than forty five minutes, because I walked out the door just as the sky was turning black. I went to the tunnel by TJ and paced back and forth, back and forth for the entire time. It poured, it hailed, it'd was misty and windy, and I got fresh air and quiet time.

I was telling a friend in a note that I think God gave me that storm. My heart was so heavy and in need of so much prayer. I sat in the tunnel, trying to think of what was wrong with me, what I wanted, where I wanted to go.

But you know the truth of my hearts desires? My heart desires Christ. Because He saved me and works in me each day. Even when my days are full of so much selfishness, He is using that to teach me *so* much. What was wrong with me? Sin. What did I want? Christ. Where did I want to go? To heaven.

My heart aches to be done. But I don't get to be the one who decides that.

Sadly, my day didn't get better. I went back inside, ignored communication and eye contact as much as I could while still working, and just barely passed the day. Sometimes God doesn't show you why you're in such a crummy mood during it.

Oh wait- if He did, then you wouldn't be in a crummy mood.

So friends, pray for my aching heart. Pray that I will rest in Christ alone. He is my strength, not myself. He is every desire my heart longs for.

I love you all so very much. You're so dear to me.

Elizabeth

Well that was depressing.

So I just sort of took the practice test.

Ha.

What a joke.

Now I'm seeing the whole, "I'm freaking out because I am sooo not prepared" part of this dumb test. It was humbling, I can give it that.

I hate standardized tests. Hate them. The point of education to me is learning, and when they cram you under time restraints it doesn't fly with me. Now I'm to the point of shutting out everyone in my life and studying for the next week and a half.

Oh wait.

That won't work.

I have to go to work. And not just going in at 8 and leaving at 5 or whatever, it means, every single day I'm thinking about it, checking my work email and doing things from home, checking out online sales, checking up on customers who haven't paid, doing customer service emails, requesting feedback, dealing with bad feedback, doing Quickbooks. Oh wait, I get to take the ACT AND be under a "We're starting fresh so have it done by the end of the week" deadline. Translation: every bit of money that has gone in and out since January one is put in to our Quickbooks and I have to go through and match every transaction, make sure it's in the correct account, try and figure out what certain downloaded names are so I know what to put them under, go through bank statements, and then deal with the other part of work that I mentioned above. With my boss chiming in every fifteen minutes with something new that needs to be done.

This is when you get to laugh and think about how reality has to show up once day. I know. But that doesn't mean it doesn't stink.

This is when I want to ask what the purpose is. I mean, if I sit down and think about it, I KNOW what the purpose is. Because the purpose in every situation is to bring the glory to God. Not to me.

So I'm sitting here and having a breakdown about everything that's going on in my life and wondering how I'm going to make it through the next two weeks.

It's simple.

God will provide. He is all and completely everything I need. If I totally botch this test, HE is bigger. He knows. He uses things as lessons. He *loves* me. I hate sin. It causes so much junk. I'm such a sinner and when I sit down and see how truly sick and disgusting I really am, it hurts. I'm so prideful and selfish and when God shows me that He's bigger, better, and is all I need, it means that my pride gets shoved to the back. Which is the best thing, but that's not to say that it doesn't hurt like crazy.

I'm seventeen years old. I'm not perfect or anywhere near it. I'm not going to have it all together or under control. I wouldn't, even if I was the at the "perfect" maturity. I only get anywhere in Christ alone. Because He is my light, my strength, my song.

Listening to this song again.

Oh

I just wanna be/I just wanna be
Closer to Your heart/You will find me there
Everything I am/It’s because of You
It’s because of You/And now, we sing
Tonight/I’m giving You all of me
Tonight/I let go of everything
Tonight/I’m giving You all of me
Tonight/Tonight/Tonight
I give You all of me

Verse 1:
(Flame)
Let’s pray
Dear Father in the name/Of Your holy Son
I desire like Jesus/Prayed for us to be one
I desire to give/I desire to serve
I desire to love/Others with more than my words
Bless me to be humble/Bless me to be meek
I want to be a joy/When people come around me
Give me a gentle spirit/Bless me to be content
Please keep me from my sin/Let me quickly repent
Please give me discipline/Give me self control
To know when to stop/And when to say no
Make me a bold witness/Please remove fear
Replace it with faith/Pour out Your spirit here
Fill me up Lord/Let me overflow
Let me overdose/Make me holy/Keep me close
I want to give it all/Until there’s none left
But I can’t beat You givin'/Look at Your Son’s death

Blessings to you.

Bethan

Happy Birthday

Today Amy would have been 30. <3

My day was wonderful. Just. ah. God is sooo cool.

Normal day of work. A bit stressful, but God has been smoothing things out so nicely for me. I love my job so much.

After work Abby came. We hung out and laughed with the guys for about a half and hour, went to grab the pizza, and then came out and had a "dysfunctional family dinner". :) Ha. I love those people.

Isaac had to get back to work, and Mike, being himself, didn't really get involved. Because, just... eh. That's him. Abby and I sat and talked for a couple of hours, Mike occasionally chimed in until he left.

Then guess what? My brother showed up. Abby had gone ahead and told me because he was late and she thought that he just didn't have time to stop by, but then he called her and said that he was and she felt SO bad for telling me. I almost started *sobbing*. No one ever surprises me like that, and Abby arranged for him to come by and see me on Amy's birthday. :')

So in short- Today was beautiful. God amazes me with how he takes care of me. I am so crazy blessed.

Happy 30th birthday, Ame. You are my hero. I can't wait to see you.

Love,

Your Bethan. <3

This week

"Just so you know, this week is going to be a crappy week for me. I reserve the right for me to have one the first week of June and the entire month of September. K?

Actually, I am *really* fighting against that. But if I'm not ok, it's because you don't have a clue what's going on.

*cheesy smile*

You're welcome."

I hate when I send emails and then wish I hadn't. Ugh.

This week is an Amy week, and tonight spending time reading her bebo blog and missing her so much that my heart is aching, I reacted quickly and sent that email to my boss.

Ha. You guys are probably totally and completely thrown off by the weird friendship that I have with my boss and co-worker, Isaac. They're becoming more like brothers the more I work with them, and my heart aches to minister to them. Pray for them, friends. They need Christ so much. Pray that Christ will give me boldness of speech to witness to them.

Listening to some pretty great music tonight.

"I desire like Jesus/Prayed for us to be one
I desire to give/I desire to serve
I desire to love/Others with more than my words
Bless me to be humble/Bless me to be meek
I want to be a joy/When people come around me
Give me a gentle spirit/Bless me to be content
Please keep me from my sin/Let me quickly repent
Please give me discipline/Give me self control
To know when to stop/And when to say no
Make me a bold witness/Please remove fear
Replace it with faith/Pour out Your spirit here
Fill me up Lord/Let me overflow
Let me overdose/Make me holy/Keep me close
I want to give it all/Until there’s none left
But I can’t beat You givin'/Look at Your Son’s death"

I love how God gives just the right song when you need some encouragement. He's so very awesome.

I hope you have a good week. Amy's birthday is Wednesday. What would have been her 30th. I was thinking today what her birthday party would be like. I want to know how she would have reacted to her 30th. Obviously differently if she had beaten the leukemia, but still, I want to know. Missing her so very much tonight, and I'm anxiously looking forward to the day I get to be glorifying God in heaven with her.

Have a joyful heart in the Lord.

Blessings,

Bethan Kara

Morning, friends!

I hope you're having a beautiful Wednesday. Mine has started off really nicely. This morning I fried bacon and an egg and had some toast with it. Now I'm making some White Chocolate Chip Cookies. Oh yum. It's an Ymker recipe and ooooh-sooo yummy. I'm going to take a plate to work with me this afternoon.

I hope all of you stayed safe after last night's storm. God blessed my family once again with safety. Monday it got pretty scary here for them, and Mama ended up taking the brothers to the basement. A lot of trees or branches came down, and I'm so thankful that they were ok. God is so very good to keep us safe through all of these storms. Another batch is coming through today.

I need to pick some flowers to take into work. Yesterday I bought my boss a cactus, but that doesn't count as flowers, so I need to go for a walk and find some wildflowers. I know Spiderworts are blooming right now-- I should go find some.

I got some photos developed to go on my desk. I absolutely love, love, love them. I got two of Amy-one of Amy and Gray, one of just her, one of Paige-girl, and a sunflare picture from one of the photoshoots that I had with some of my sisters. <3 I'm leaving early so I can run by Walgreens to see if I can find a frame(s) for them. I'm leaving in about an hour, so I should start getting ready soon. As soon as the cookies are done, and the flowers are found. I feel like wearing a skirt today, but I'm dressing up on the 1st, so I'll skip today.

Mama just left for a dentist appt. and I need to do the dishes that I've managed to pile everywhere this morning. (Mrs. M would be proud, right, Justine?)

Please have a beautiful day and enjoy your family. My biggest sis would want you to.

Love to you,

LizzieKara

Mondays

Bwhahaha. You won't believe what happened today. It's been *quite* the Monday for me. :D

So I get to work at 7. Sometimes my boss is already there, sometimes he's not. So today he wasn't, so I just did what I always do, and went on in.

Only this time the alarm started to go off. It's never gone off before, since either Mike has been there already, or he's forgotten to set it. Well he remembered to set it this morning.

"Oh crap."

So I called Mike. No answer.

Called Isaac. No answer. Called Isaac again. No answer.

Central Security calls. "Is everything ok there?" "Yes, everything is fine. I just got here before my boss, and I didn't know the alarm was set. You can call him: *enter phone number here*" "Password." "I don't know the password, my boss always takes care of it." "Password." "No, Mike knows the password, he's just not here right now. You can call him, though. He'll give it to you." "Alright, we'll call him."

So I went on with my morning, got the vacuum out, called Mama to let her know that I had gotten there safely, told her the story, and then started to vacuum. Then the police walked in.

"Oh did they not get a hold of Mike?!"

Obviously not.

So they looked at my i.d., checked things out a bit, I called Mike again- no answer. So the police officer said, "Well, I don't think a thief would be vacuuming, so we're all good."

One of my fellow Things came into work today. He needed a sata cable. :) It was soo fun to see him there. No one I know ever comes in, so it was nice to see somebody.

All in all, today was a good day. I spent the afternoon going through all of this year's papers that needed to be filed. That was fun. But it's DONE and it feels so crazy nice to be finished with all of it. :D

I hope your Monday was good. Pray for Joplin. <3

Bethan

Sunday evening thoughts

Tonight is scary. There has already been some pretty incredible damage reported in Joplin, MO and I was watching the live feed come in on Discovery Channel's site. Wow. God is awesome. Praying for those and their loved ones who are in the midst of such destruction. I know God is using this to open hearts to see His beautiful love and mercy.

This weekend has been rough. I don't exactly know why. Well, I do, actually. God is working in my heart so much right now and it hurts. I'm struggling with balancing out my own Bible study time, family time, time by myself, work and the stress that comes with it, exhaustion, and just *everything*.

In the matter of hours I go from wanting to be down at college, or ready to be, to not wanting to go to college and staying at my current job, to wanting to kick all of the stress out.

Guess what?! There's always going to be stress, because I'm human. I'm Elizabeth Kara, and I get stressed out. I think that I can handle it instead of giving it to Christ, and I fail so epically. I try to convince myself that if I just cut out certain things in my life, the stress will be completely gone.

What a JOKE! Stress is such a sin issue for me, and I struggle with it each and every day. Right now I'm dealing with so many things and I just feel so overwhelmed. Christ is the one I need to rest in, not think about resting in. I need to be completely and totally resting in Him.

Tonight my boss asked me: "Do you think micom will be a long term job for you? Or do you have other plans? " I replied with: "There's a lot of prayer going into it, but as of right now, I am planning on going to college in the fall of 2012. Right now I'm feeling like I really don't want to leave Micom, so I'm praying about it a lot. I don't know if I'll end up at college, or staying back here, or going to college, being able to work for you still, but down there. How would you feel about that?"

Did I answer that well? Did I fail? I just feel like I never know what to expect. Christ is the one who knows my future. While I'm planning, I don't want to be totally and completely set on something, because He is the ruler of my life.

Well, the work week starts tomorrow, and I need to get some rest. My head hurts and I should go take something for it, so I get a good night of sleep.

There are so many tornado threats right now. I'm praying for you all while the storm moves through your area.

Bring joy and peace to your week,

LizzieBeth

Psalm 51:12-19

"Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous Spirit. Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, And sinners shall be converted to You. Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, The God of my salvation, And my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips, And my mouth shall show forth Your praise. For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it; You do not delight in burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, A broken and a contrite heart-- These, O God, You will not despise. Do good in Your good pleasure to Zion; Build the walls of Jerusalem. Then You shall be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, With burnt offering and whole burnt offering; Then they shall offer bulls on Your altar." -Psalm 51:12-19

In my Bible reading today. Actually, April 27th's Bible reading, which God knew that I needed to hear today.

Lizzie

[title]

Hello there,

I'm on the way home from Sfield after dropping off my besties with their Momma's so they could get home and rest after an insane week with little sleep.

I miss them a lot already.

But I'm also ready/nervous for routine to start up again.

I made myself study for the ACT on the way home today. I just took the test at the end of the chapter and almost started sobbing when I saw how badly I failed. Well, granted I didn't have my calculator with me, but still.

I'm feeling really overwhelmed about the ACT and the MCAS tests right now. I just feel like I'm being pulled in two directions along with work stress and home stress, and it's *hard* learning to be an adult. It takes a whole lotta trusting in Jesus and I cannot even to being to think of how I could do it without Him in my life. So I'm sitting here and praying that I will give it all to Him to take care of. I know I'm not going to feel prepared for either of the tests, and if that's how God wants me to take them, then that's what is right.

I've been thinking a ton lately about how He's laying out my life. While I know how many things are going to change, it's been sooo cool to see how He's working with me. For instince, I was really scared about the thought of college, taking classes, and working all the time. And with the job that He so beautifully placed in my life, I am learning so much each and every day. I was pulled out of my comfort zone, but He did it carefully and softly, not harshly and hurtful. I love how He does things like that. I didn't deserve it in the least. I'm scared about work tomorrow (or Friday. I don't know which day I'm working yet. We're 20 minutes out.) just for the reason of being pulled out of my comfort zone. I've had a week at home with my best friends for a week, and just had some time to breathe. Now that I'm jumping head first back into it all, I'm shaking on the diving board.

But Jesus is all around and He's going to always keep me safe. Whether I fail the ACT and MCAS or not. He's always there.

Blessings to you friends. Jesus is with you on the overwhelming days and on the great ones.

LizzieKara

Unsure..

So right now I'm not sure. I don't even know what I'm not sure about. I'm just feeling very "Eh" right now, and it's driving me crazy.

I don't like having a weird schedule and not knowing what's going on.

You can slap me now. I hate that I feel like that. Because things change *so* quickly, and I am so very clearly not in control of my life. Somedays I'm completely and totally ok with that, and other days I fight God's control and end up coming back to the same realization as before: God is always, and forever in control.

That's the best way.

I was planning on working tomorrow, almost sure of it, but then when I got home from church, I had an email from my boss saying that he didn't need me to work tomorrow. And starting Tuesday, I'm off until the 19th... Um.. Ok.

So I'm weirdly sad. Mostly because I was sorta going to miss working for the week, and then when they said that they didn't need me tomorrow, I kinda felt a little lousy and like that I'm just not needed.

That stinks for this very needy person.

We got bad feedback. Translation: I feel lousy. It isn't my fault, but I take it waaaay personally.

Today, being Mother's Day, hasn't been the best... Just a lot of things happening to my family right now, and they hurt *so* much. I just want to scream that God is bigger than them, and that they're stupid for thinking the things that they're thinking, but that's not kindness, it's just hurt talking. God knows the truth. And I don't have to worry about what others think of me- It's what Christ thinks. He is the Truth. I came home, mowed the grass some, and then called my bestie sister, Ker and talked to her for about and hour. I love her more than a lot.

I get to see her in three days. And spend an entire week with her. God knows what I need, and it was some good quality OK sister time, I think.

I'm going to look forward to this week that God has given me. He knows why I have the day off tomorrow, and that I really do need it.

I hope your week is wonderful. Have peace in your heart and love Jesus.

Bethan

"Here's your new phone, Lizzie."

I wish I could express to you how great the past two days have been. God blesses me so very, very much.

My Thursday started off with my going for a good hard uphill run and then having a yummy breakfast of some bacon, a fried egg, and a piece of toast. Then I made Mrs. W's Chocolate-y Claire Cake for the cast party, packed, and left for A's house where I studied for the ACT, cleaned her car with her, and planted a huge bed of flowers. Oh, and sent scary pictures of us with blue hair to our boss, with the subject of the email being: "Micom advertising. Lizzie wants your input." Bwahaha. If that didn't surprise him, I don't know what would.

Then we left for the cast party, had a lovely time, came home, slept, woke up, had breakfast, and went into work. The Cards scored 6 or more runs, so we went to Mobil and got coffee. Well, I got hot cocoa with half&half, I got Mike a Revy with French Vanilla creamer, and Abby got Hazelnut Cappuccino with French Vanilla creamer. I had two vases of flowers, one of irises, and another with some cute purple wildflowers.

Mike started my day off with "your crash course in Quickbooks." Which happened to be bank statements for like the last 6 months or something. Then he decided he'd make me happy by telling me to go look at my shipping area. They brought back a 16ft box truck completely filled. And dumped it all in the back. *scary*. It was claustrophobic back there. He found a really old brown phone in one of the many boxes of office phones we got in, and he then he said the title of this post. Haha. :D So later when I found a cute peach colored phone about as old, I put it up on his desk.

The day was just wonderful. Everyone was in an awesome mood and just *happy*. I think it was the best day of work so far. I think I've already said that before. That's why the "so far" is in there.

Right before A. and I left for lunch, I asked my co-worker, Isaac, if he would mind stopping at Dairy Queen to get an ice cream cake for A. He said that he would, and Mike walked in at the end of our conversation and asked what we were talking about. Isaac told him, and he quickly said, "No, I'll take care of it. I was thinking that we'd go out to Applebee's for dinner."

My mouth probably dropped open. I was completely shocked that he had thought about it and was going to do a going-away party for A. Dude.

And we did. Everyone successfully pulled it off, and A. was completely FLOORED. Oh my. She almost started crying when Isaac told her what we were doing.

So yesterday was pretty great. My day was so good. And I don't think that A's last day could've been any better. God is good, and knows exactly what we need, even if Tuesday night I was freaking out and wondering how on earth I was going to make it through the week, nontheless get my license so quickly.

The brothers and I are spending the day working outside. Speaking of which, I need to go get to work. I've finished the flowerbeds in the front, but I need to plant sunflowers and work in the back flowerbeds while Jed is mowing.

Happy weekend to you all. I love you.

Lizziebeth

"Everybody says that change is a good thing..."

What a past two days...

God completely blows me away with how powerful He is.

So a couple of weeks ago my friend, A., had a job offer dropped at her feet. Work was slow at Micom, we were working less hours, three days a week, gas and car expenses add up, etc. So she prayed about it, went in for an interview, took the tests, and then yesterday she found out that she got the job. It's at the same place where her brother works. (My brother works there, too.) I found out last night when she called me. Yesterday was stressful. It started out with me waking up, checking my work email and seeing work waiting for me that my boss had sent me, taking care of that, going for a run, checking and doing more work, VPN-ing in to work and taking care of some things, replying to a letter, eating lunch, going on a walk with Momma for a couple of hours, weeding the flowerbeds with Momma for awhile, coming inside, checking work email and seeing an "call me ASAP" email, calling into work, VPN-ing into work and dealing with some more stuff, trying to study for the ACT, Dani getting here, visiting with her, A. calling and telling me that news.

I was just stressed. A.'s quitting makes huge things change for me. I've prayed about it and talked to my parents about it- I'm going to continue working, but that means I'll be working from home until I get my license, which I'll now be spending my every waking minute in the car practicing. I'll be working without A., who has pretty much become one of my best friends over the past couple of months. Packing by myself, eating by myself, dealing with customers by myself, etc., etc.

So I am s.c.a.r.e.d.

I spent the night worrying about everything concerning work. :'( Dani was incredible and she spent the night encouraging me, giving me hugs, and taking my mind off of the day I was so dreading to arrive.

I was so stressed that I made myself sick. I got sick last night after dinner and wasn't feeling well again until around 10 this morning. My stomach ached and I felt nauseous, dizzy, and shaky. I know... I sound like a complete wimp.

So A. talked to our boss today. I ran away and did stuff in the back while she talked to him. We were both sooo nervous about how he'd take it. Both of us were completely shocked. He handled it soo differently than I thought he would. He basically congratulated A. on getting such a great job and for moving up and was really supportive of her. We were either thinking that he'd be upset, or just in that, "Well, that's life, so we'll make it work" mood that he's in sometimes. He gave her permission to go anytime, he didn't need to have two weeks notice... He wasn't upset in the least.

God is incredible. A. and I were so stressed out about today, and even if it had been a bad outcome, God will always, always, always do the best for us, so it was dumb for us to be so worried.

We went out to lunch and had Chinese. It was nice. :) So today turned out to be a fairly wonderful day and people were happy. God completely blows me away with his mercy and power. Wowie.

:) Here's something funny for you.

Monday I brought in a small candy dish with Starburst jellybeans for me to snack on throughout the day. I came in this morning and I noticed that the jellybeans were spotted and looking different. They were. Someone had eaten my jellybeans and then gone out and gotten new ones and put them in my candy dish.

And they thought that I wouldn't notice.

So Isaac came up, I questioned him, determined that it wasn't him because you can tell when he's lying about something.

I picked up my bowl and walked with my clicky heels to the back. I stopped right in front of Mike and stared him down.

"I don't know anything about that. I didn't do it. It wasn't me."

More staring.

Silence.

Nervous laughing.

"Wal-mart didn't have any, ok?!"

Staring.

Silence.

More nervous laughing.

More nervous laughing.

"Good job apologizing."

And I walked back to my desk.

:) I love the relationships that I have with my boss and co-workers. They make me laugh a lot.

Later I was like, "So did you just take my bowl of jellybeans and put them on your desk and eat them all day? Or did you just keep snitching from my desk?"

"Well, I had one...'Oh man, these are so good!'"

"I know they are. They're Starbursts."

"Ok, today's goal is to find Starburst jellybeans."

:)

Tonight I spent about two and a half hours practicing driving. I parallel parked like 10 times without ever hitting the trashcans, so that's good news. :) It's been raining SO much here and then tonight we found out that rainwater had gotten into our well-thing or something. So our water is contaminated and Daddy and the brothers had to go out and fix it. Unfortunately, I drank some. Then had A. drink some to see if it was just my sick taste buds that were off. We're still here, so we must be ok, huh? Poor A.... I'll have to break the bad news to her tomorrow.

God continues to blow me away, like I've said twelve times already. But I don't think I could ever say it enough. Because he truly does.

Love to you dears,

Elizabeth

Work Stories

So yesterday was quite eventful.

The owner of Lucky House came in. He's a pretty awesome guy, and the fact that he owns the best Chinese restaurant in R-town is happy. He was such a nice guy, and I was pleasantly surprised after a rough day. Actually, just a rough afternoon. Actually, the entire day.

It started off with me blowing up at A for something completely ridiculous. I'm such a jerk. Thankfully she's a darling and doesn't hate me for it.

Then I was happy because I got to go on a walk with A. during lunch break, and just had a lovely time.

Then my boss was dealing with a ton of junk with one of my co-workers. I hate, hate, hate when that happens. It just makes me feel absolutely horrible because there is so much yucky going on, and when it comes to the surface and rears it's nasty face when I'm in the room... Eh.. I've pretty much decided that the certain co-worker that I'm speaking of is a conniving little brat that needs Jesus very badly. Well, along with the rest of my co-workers... I need to be spending more time praying for them.

Then another thing happened with another one of my co-workers and that *really* upset me. So I went and clocked out, sat in a corner surrounded by desktops and read my Bible. I just felt like sobbing. I know that sounds like such a baby thing to do. But lately I've been so emotionally exhausted and feeling mountains of pressure by everything that I need to get done and yesterday was not the day for bad things to happen. So the best thing for me to do was to sit and have some quiet time reading my Bible and praying, right? Plus, it doesn't hurt for my co-workers to see me reading my Bible. That's not the reason I did, but I guess it could be considered a form of witnessing, right? I don't know, but God knew my actions, and I don't think that I did the wrong thing. Maybe not the most responsible and mature, since I needed to just take some time away from things.. I don't know how I feel about what I did...

See, when I get really upset about something, I'll normally blow up and tell that person about what I'm mad about, get unreasonable, and just make no sense. But when I get hurt about something, I get really quiet and just want to go away and be by myself. Those are the things that happened yesterday. At the end of the day, my boss was intent about figuring out what was wrong with me. But when someone asks me that after I've been sitting and thinking about it for an hour and a half, I totally forget or just don't want to let them in, because, obviously, they've hurt me.

So this is how it went when he walked up to the front of the counter to the side of where my desk is:

"So are you having a bad day, Lizzie?"

"You're not supposed to ask that question."

"Yes I am, because I care if you're having a bad day or not."

"No you're not..."

"Why are you having a bad day?"

"*avoids question* You could probably say that I am."

So I walked back, avoided eye contact, and got my stuff out of the break room. Swinging my pink water bottle as I walked along. (Raise your hand if you know what that means!) So I came back and he was like,

"Lizzie, what's wrong?" (Do you think my boss gets that he's working with a oh-so-emotionally dead 17 year old? I think so.)

I think I avoided the question again, and then the conversation moved on to something like,

"Your flower looks really nice."

"I know."

"Where do you get all of these flowers?"

"From my backyard. Mom and I garden on my days off."

"Man, I wish I had flowers in my back yard..."(His back yard is a concrete slab with some weeds here and there.)

"Haha."

"Actually, I don't. Because I would never water them, or weed them, or even look at them."

And then he told me to tell my Mom that he liked her flowers and we both moved on with our lives.

Touching, really. ;)

Or not.

But anyway, after all of that rambling, I've decided that you'd need something to laugh about.

Dee S.

She's a bright one when it comes to computers.

That sounded wretchedly mean, but seriously.. OH MY.

So I've been dealing with Dee for over a month. We sent her a computer and she wrote and said that her hard drive wasn't working, that they had done the tests or something and that's what the problem was. So I checked with Isaac and we decided that we'd just ship her a new hard drive, offer to have her call Isaac for when she received it to help her get it put in her computer, etc. So we sent her the new hard drive and early this month she emails us again and says that her computer is defective and that she wants to send it back for a refund. So I emailed her a UPS return pre-paid shipping label and told her that all she'd have to do is drop it off at the UPS store. So last week she emails again and is like, "I need to know your model number for the hard drive that you sent me so I can send it back. I don't know which one is mine, and which one is yours and I want to know by the model number." We don't keep the model numbers of each hard drive on file, so I emailed her back after she called and talked to Mike and told her that we don't have that on file. Mike was like, "You need to email Dee. She called me to day and *uh* she is so dumb." I was feeling like he was just overreacting because he had to take an Amazon caller when he didn't really want to. So she was like, "Ok, I'll just send back the one that I think is yours tomorrow." So last Friday we got this hard drive back. She emailed and was like," have you received it yet so I can get my refund?" So the fight that A. and I had was concerning this deal. Ha. Not. fun. I emailed her and told her that we would give her a partial refund on Monday. I issued a refund to cover the shipping back. She was, for some reason, expecting a FULL refund for this hard drive. This FREE hard drive that WE shipped her for FREE. So A. called her.

Oh. my. This was in the middle of the co-worker mess.

This lady is seriously the dumbest person regarding computers that I've ever heard about. She was like, "I sent the hard drive back to you, so why am I not getting a full refund?" A. explained to her the deal and that we needed to have the *computer* back to be able to issue a refund. She was like, "Oh, you mean you need the *case* back?!" "Yes, we need the computer back! The hard drive is just what stores the computer information on it, it's not the entire computer. When you ship this back to us, you should have the computer/case, and the power cord in the box." "There isn't a power cord. Doesn't the power cord plug into the hard drive?" "No, the computer is what you kept. The power cord is the thing that plugs into the back of the computer and then into the wall. It's black, about 5 feet long..." "Yeah, but it plugs into the hard drive." "No, ma'am, it doesn't plug into the hard drive. *repeats what she said earlier about what a hard drive is*"

So A, finished talking to her, her and I almost *died* over how ridiculous that was and how Mike was not overreacting when he said that.

She emailed about five minutes later and said, "I can't find the power cord. You never sent it to me. I have one from my other computer that I can send... let me know what I should do." I emailed back: "It's fine that you can't find the power cord. Just go ahead and ship us back the computer. Put it in a bag and then use bubble wrap." She emailed back in about five minutes and said, "I found the power cord!! It'll be on the way tomorrow!"

I'm fully expecting to receive this box back with just the power cord in it. That would be completely realistic with how this situation has been going..

I will forever love you all just as long as you know that a power cord for a computer doesn't plug into the hard drive and as long as you don't think that the hard drive is a computer.

Then A. and I left and went to strike the set. We painted a ton and I'm covered with black paint.

I got home and my camera had arrived. :D

I hope your Tuesday is full of joy and hope.

Jesus is greater than all of the stress, so let Him take care of it.

Bethan

Let your walls fall

So I was trying to rest on my bed while I was listening to the same Pandora station, and this song came on.

See this post. This was back before Christ was my hope and strength, and I think you can clearly see that. :'( So this song that I heard while I was laying on my bed came on and it reminded me right away of that post.

Here are the lyrics.

So you thought you had to keep this up
All the work that you do
So we think that you're good
And you can't believe it's not enough
All the walls you built up
Are just glass on the outside

So let 'em fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Afraid to let your secrets out
Everything that you hide
Can come crashing through the door now
But too scared to face all your fear
So you hide but you find
That the shame won't disappear

So let it fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now
We're here now, oh

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Sparks will fly as grace collides
With the dark inside of us
So please don't fight
This coming light
Let this blood come cover us
His blood can cover us

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

This was me. I built my walls, I hurt people, I pushed them away.

What absolute destruction I caused! You don't even know an 1/18 of it. I am forgiven.

God's grace. I was so clearly saved by the grace of God. He knew my hateful heart. He worked in me. He showed me His overwhelming love. I am such a sinner.

Reading that blogpost now amazes me and the words, "Once I was blind, but now I can see" are running through my head.

I'm feeling overwhelmed by His awesome power right now. It might hurt so badly when He works in me, but oh, how He teaches me.

I have no more words. God is enough. Always and forever, He knows the truth.

Willa shared this when I woke up this morning,

"Seek peace and pursue it."

Bethan

Whoa.

So my emotional self is all over the charts today.

I don't have a *clue* why, just... meh.

I feel like I need to sob. :/ But I don't have any reason for that, because I am *so*, so blessed. It just seems like everything is weighing heavily today.

Maybe because it's because I registered for the ACT. Ha. That's probably it. I think that could turn anyone's day into a bad one.

Actually, I think it's because I know I need to do:

Language Arts

Adv. Math

Study for the ACT

Study for my MCAS exam

Reply to 5 letters

Reply to an email

Clean

Anatomy. Lots, and lots of it

Think of a reply for bad feedback

Dump out dead flowers

Laundry

Deal with people.

I tell you, that last one... It gets me *every* time. People exhaust me. *I* exhaust myself worrying about their problems.

Do you have a good verse coming to mind? Post it, because I need encouragement.

So. The things that I've gotten done today:

Woke up.

Went for a run and pushed myself further than I was planning.

Read encouraging and sweet posts from my friends.

Ate a very yummy breakfast

Registered for the ACT

Did research on how to register for my MCAS exam.

Checked on work stuff

Studied some for the ACT outside in the sunshine

Mowed the grass

Ate a super yummy lunch.

Listened to the beautiful video that Willa posted

Tried to mow the grass again. Out of gasoline. Stink.

Came inside and got ready to go for tonight's performance.

Painted my toenails red and blue to match my awesome costume. (haha.)

Went and got my laptop, Bible and devotional, and Christi's letter

Was awoken to the ridiculous amount of junk that I have sitting around downstairs.

And here I am.

Maybe it's just reality hitting after yesterday's incredible day.

Yesterday. It was so great. I went to work, a little nervous about just not wanting to have another bad day there, and God blessed me. so. much. I think yesterday was the best day I've ever had at work. The Y's took me out for Mexican. It was crazy good food. Mmmm. We got to work a full day. It felt *so* good to be busy all day. I cannot even express to you how happy it made me to see all of those boxes. One of the shipping orders was us getting to ship 9 computers to New York. All in separate boxes. Weeee! I came home and within 2 minutes of being here, I had purchased my first camera. A Canon 40D with two lenses. I had won it on Ebay after my Momma spent the past hour keeping a close eye on it. I'm praying that everything with it will check out. The guy is supposed to ship it today! :D

I'm listening to my Tenth Avenue North Pandora Station, and it's hitting the spot. Good music.

Now. I'm going to go get some things done. I'll try to write Christi, and I'll do my Bible reading and have some nice quiet time.

God is good, even when the days are bad. He absolutely amazes me each and every day.

Be truthful and remember His grace,

Elizabeth

Some encouragement

I think this a beautiful worship song. Not that we would sing it at our church, but it makes me excited for camp and singing with all of the beautiful voices.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fynEXFzv6Po

Water You turned into wine
Open the eyes of the blind
There’s no one like You
None like You
Into the darkness You shine
Out of the ashes we rise
There’s no one like You
None like You

CHORUS
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…

Into the darkness you shining
Out of the ashes we Rise
There’s no One like You
None like You.

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…

BRIDGE
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who can ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
Then what can stand against?
Then what can stand against?

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…

Abby and I listened to this on the way to work this morning. Oh wow. We turned the sound up, rejoiced, and sang from our hearts. Even if you don't like the actual music, the words are beautiful.

It was such a wonderful way to start off our day. I was so blessed with a lovely much less stressful day (After Tuesday...) and it was so special. I had this song running through my head as I heard my co-workers use filthy language. God saved me, a wretch. My God is for me. My God is with me. No one can ever stop me when God is with me. No one can ever stand against me when God is with me. Not even harsh words or cruel ones. God is beautiful, true, and forever Holy.

So I'm going to sleep tonight with this song running through my head and I'm saying prayers for my co-workers.

Peace and love to you,

Bethan

Cookies

Sam, Stephen, and I made these cookies on Wednesday. Yummy. They were reaaally good. Too bad I forgot what they're called. :)

Ice to the Cream

Good Afternoon

It's already the afternoon on my day off.

I'm tired. That's probably why I didn't wake up until 9 this morning.

I feel like my posts have been on the sad and boring side lately. I want to do some baking and get some pictures up. Maybe I can do that today. Sam wants me to make some Midnight Chocolate cookies with him today, so I think I'll do that and then get some pictures of them.

I'm finished with Language Arts for the week, which is nice. Anatomy is going to take forever today, but oh well. Someday I'll finish it and then be done with school. I'm looking forward to the summer and not having to worry about school and trying to get everything done with it. Even though I'll still have Math. And the ACT to study for. I need to sign up for the one in June today. Otherwise I'll just keep forgetting. And then I have a good deadline to make me get it done. Heh. Joy.

A. and her brothers are going to come over sometime this afternoon. We need to go over some stuff for Seuss. It's going to be such fun. Last night we went to the theatre to help paint. Well, I didn't help paint, because I totally forgot to bring painting clothes. So I finished some Seussy instruments, did the beach chair and umbrella, and then just mainly watched them. I did take some pictures, so I'll have to post them sometime today. I have a photography assignment to do, so I'm not going to upload the pictures to my computer until I take those.

Work has been going well. It was weird going in on Monday. When we got there, Mike was sitting at his desk doing work on his laptop and so we just went over and sat at our desks. Isaac came in and Mike told him to sit down in one of the chairs over by his desk, and then when Michael came in, he said the same thing to him. It was basically an hour of serious conversation concerning what's going on, and what hasn't been going on. It ended with them being sent home until Friday and Abby and I sitting rather stunned at what just happened and how we were supposed to swing an entire week of not having Isaac, our busiest tech, and Michael, our second hand in doing practically everything.

Then A. and I went and sat in the places where they had just sat, had about another hour of meeting with him about how we wanted to change things in the week that Isaac and Michael were gone. We have to make serious changes in the way things are being done and set some strict rules to how things will be done. It's not a "try" situation anymore. It's a "have to", now.

There was more explanation about the whole situation last Thursday when he wrote and told us that we were being laid off. I did see that it truly was a pop up situation that he thought was really serious and that he really couldn't afford us at that moment when he thought that problem was happening. I don't think that he did the correct thing with how he addressed that with us, but he's also not a Christian, and I can't expect him to have True guidance on that. I guess that's a good way to put it. Either way, he didn't handle that well.

So he asked us if we could be super flexible this week, because we need to be there when he's not so we can keep the store opened. Things are changing on Amazon due to some pretty stupid things happening. People use people so awfully. It's just not adding up with certain things and we're just losing instead of gaining. I replied to soooo many emails yesterday on there. I was basically paid to take care of that instead of other important things that needed to be done. And when we're not being paid to offer all of that support, we're just losing every minute that I have to sit down and work towards that. I mean, absolutely do we have to work in that situation and deal with customers like that, but when it's problems that just magically came up as soon as they received their order? Absolutely not. And for one, our computers do NOT just spontaneously burst into flames. They do not.

So yesterday was stressful for me. It was just one thing after another building and it was hard to do that. With the people who had taken over for me last week were now gone this week, I was making calls and writing emails to them, who do have lives, trying to figure out those problems. Which makes me feel crummy. Isaac was like, "Hey, and if I don't answer the first time, you don't have to call me another 5 times." "It was 2! I only called you twice, and I didn't know that Mike had called you. I'm sorry." I was so tired by the end of yesterday that I was switching words around and sounding like an idiot. Ha. I bet that was nice for everyone.

OH! :D And I got the guy to take his bad feedback down! That was QUITE thrilling.

I have enjoyed being back. It feels right to be back, even if there is the stress. And God is teaching me to rely on Him to take care of that stress. I had some good music running through my head yesterday during all of that stress. God is good, and He loves me *so* much.

My blog is being taken over with me talking about work stuff. Ah!

I'll try and post some pictures soon, and for once, not talk about work.

I love you, dearies. You're important to me.

Bethan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwtcwQwgdsA

Good words.

An update

Hey friends,

I got home and checked my email.

I'm going into work tomorrow. Pray for a good day and that things will go well.

Lizzie

A long one...

Hey there, blogger friends.

Who are actually my real friends.

My life is a roller coaster, I think. Which is ok sometimes. And other times it's waaaay stressful and I don't know what to think.

I'm on my way home from Branson with the parents writing this in WordPad because I have no internet as we drive down 65 North.

We just dropped Christi off at CofO, visited with her, Dan, Nathan, and Cody for awhile, and then left. Em is in Sfield after her flight was delayed due to mechanical issues in Providence. You don't even want to know how many jokes have been made about her being stuck in Providence. :D

Christi reloaded my iPod with her music. I had music from back when we were mostly living in C. back in those days. And I hardly listened to any of it anymore. I needed to take a picture for the day, so I took a picture of me sitting in the car with my lappy, iPod (which was Amy's.) and just the general stuff I have sitting in my area.

I'm going to miss Chris. Her middle name speaks of how she is: Joy. She is so fully of joy and peace. I love her so very much. She was so, so encouraging and such a dear to me this week after finding out Thursday's news.

Speaking of my job.

Ha.

‘Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10

Here's the roller coaster.

This morning my boss called A. and asked her if we wanted our jobs back. He had actually emailed the both of us this morning. And then I emailed Abby and told her to check her work email and then to call me after 1 on Dad's cell since we were going to be heading down to CofO this afternoon.

She called at right around 1, and told me that he had called her. So we talked and she said that she was going to do it. I told her that I did, too, but I needed to talk to my parents about it. So once we were on our way down to CofO, I told Mom and Dad the news, along with Chris. They were pretty surprised. But also concerned, because this was SO quick and it worried them about how seriously he was thinking this through. I felt the exact same way. Even if he thinks that we care about Micom, it doesn't mean that it's in the best interest to have us back when the company can't exactly afford us right now. So when I got to CofO, I borrowed Christi's laptop and sat down and wrote him an email that said that. Now that I've done it, I feel that maybe I blew my chance of working there again. But really, I *do* want the best for Micom, and if the best is for me not to work there, then it is absolutely God's will. If God wants me working there, He will work it out. He is absolutely correct in all things.

I asked him to write me back so I would know what to do concerning coming into work tomorrow morning. Either to call Dad's cell or if it was ok that I didn't get the email until like... 8 or so because I wouldn't be home until around that time. Right now it's 5:02, so I would certainly hope that we'd get back before then. :)

I thought about just calling him and getting the whole conversation over with. Then I chickened out, because I'm so horrible on the phone. My voice probably would've gotten shaky and I wouldn't have said all that I needed to say. So on my end, an email was the best. And if it isn't for him, he can always call.

Rehearsals were Friday and Saturday. They went really well. Everything is coming along really well. I'm super excited about it. Nervous, but I'm always nervous. :) It's not a good quality.

Friday night we stopped in at work. Well, I did. I needed to get a few more things and even though I never heard back from Mike, I knew that I needed to get them. So A. made me go inside, even though I was scared. Not because I was mad at them or anything, just because I knew it'd probably be somewhat awkward for everyone. :/

So I went in and was flustered to an extent and said hi to the guys. I was scared to see Mike. But when I walked in the door, he had a kind and sincere smile on his face, that looked like he was sad about how things had turned out. I was so relieved. I was so scared that it was something more than financial issues, and that bothered me *so* much. I just want people to be honest with me. It bothers me so much when people are fake. SO. Much. So don't do it to me. Isaac greeted me with a, "What are you doing here? We don't want you here anymore." "Thanks Isaac, that makes me feel good." I twittled about trying to find my things, walked past Mike's desk to leave and he stopped and gave me my paycheck. I assured him that, "I promise that's not the reason I came in." "I know it's not.". I walked to the door, turned and said, "I really think that you should come see us have blue hair." "I will."

And then I left.

Feeling quite the bit better about that, I my heart felt like crying because I know how very, very lost those people are. If I already think my co-workers are fun and they don't know Jesus, imagine what they would be like if they did! So I continue to pray for their hearts and ask God to save their very lost souls. I was just as lost as them a few years ago. And how much they need Jesus. I don't know how people can deal with all of the stress without having Christ to rest in. How sad.

So the praise to God for his mercy. He can do all things and his will is forever done.

Saturday some dear, dear friends were in a roll over accident in their 15 passenger van with the kids. Jesus protected each and every one of them and they're all totally fine. What incredible mercy out Saviour shows and pours out.

Peace and love to you all. Rejoice in the Lord today and throughout the week.

Bethan

"Don’t let your eyes get used to darkness
The light is coming soon
Don’t let your heart get used to sadness
Put your hope in what is true"

Back Home JJ Heller

Oh look! I'm back again.

It's 6:10 pm now, and I'm still in the car. We went to Sams. So guess what time we'll be getting home? At around 8. :)

I'm listening to my iPod again. Daddy is "punching" Mama because a whole tractor trailer load of VW's just rolled past us. Hahaha. :) I love my parents.

We spent some lovely time in Sams, looking at tvs, cameras, fish sticks, cheese, celery, chips, chicken, dishwasher soap, etc. We got pizza and soda for dinner. I got sprite to drink because I had a coke with lunch and coke gets heavy after while. Haha. That sounds dumb. But do you know what I mean? Sprite is a lighter tasting soda. So that's what I got.

There went another VW...

So if I do end up getting my job back, then I want to get a new camera before college. :) I think I might just go with the new Rebel that's coming out. It had a nice price. Although I feel like a Rebel is a stereotypical step up camera, I am not spending a $1,000 for a 50 or 60D, so that'll have to do. Plus, they seem to be good cameras that last. Maybe someday I could upgrade to a nicer one.

I saw Gerbera Daisies in Sams and I said, "One day when a guy loves me, he's going to buy be Gerbera Daisies.". Daddy was looking at the cute small roses that they had for Mama. They were really pretty. Pretty soon spring is going to actually show up and our house will be filled with cut flowers. *Joy*

I'm listening to Chris August. He's a new artist that I heard a couple of weeks ago. Then Friday when Chris and I were looking at iTunes, she saw his album cheap and bought it. That girl with all her gift cards. Pppsh..

Speaking of good deals. Well, not really...

Mama found some cute ballet flats on Lands End for $11 that were originally like $40. So she bought me and Emma a pair. They're fun. I almost had her bought a red pair along with the black, but that was back when I had just lost my job, so I decided not to.

Not knowing if I have a job or not is making me anxious. Repeating the verse above to myself.

I just asked Daddy if it was going to rain (it looks cloudy.) and he said, "It is sometime." Then he did his cheesy grin when he turned around to look at me.

My parents. I love them so much,

Sam's has good pizza. I like it. I always have enjoyed their stuff.

The sky looks like wrinkly old skin. Only.. more beautiful. Ha. :D

My FB is minimized down there with "15 notifications" on it. It's bothering me because I can't look at them.

Seriously, are you not bored yet? I can't believe you're still reading this... Ha. I should go. I need to write Corinne, so I should go do that instead of rambling to a point of no return...

Love you.

LizzieBeth

Again.

Hi, :)

We just passed this new church building that a church near St. R is building and it looks like an ark. So Mom and Dad were trying to figure out if they modeled it after that, and I said, "Did you ask Mr. Brown if he thought it was one?" "No... Does he get text?"

Dad has really been on the texting deal today. That's like the 10th time he's texted today. (Ppsp. That's big for him.)

I love my Daddy.

About half an hour to go!

Liz