Sunday, February 24, 2013

Hold Onto the Ones You Love


Elizabeth Martin
College Comp 1
1/24/13
Hold Onto the Ones You Love
It was a hot July afternoon just two days before the 4th of July. My mother picked up her phone and answered with a sweet “Hey, Amy! How are you?” However, her tone quickly changed from happiness to concern. Something was wrong, I could tell. My mother and my oldest sister Amy have been best friends for years and know each other better than almost anyone. It was our family get-together at my grandparents’ home in St. Louis. We were all having a wonderful day and enjoying being around each other for the first time in several months. Amy was unable to make it to the get-together because her husband was out of town and she didn’t want to make the trip alone with Gary, her eight-month-old son.  I was in my grandmother’s kitchen listening to one side of my mother’s phone conversation. I anxiously stood by her side asking questions as she shushed me so she could hear my sister.  My mother finished the phone call with Amy, and she let us know that my brother-in-law, Brandon, was taking Amy to Urgent Care to check out the spider bite she had gotten several weeks prior. They had just moved into their new home in Columbia, MO and they were dealing with some insect issues. After my mother told me what was going on, I ran off to continue enjoying the time with my cousins, trying not to think about the situation too much.            
We arrived home that evening and my mother’s concern had grown more considerable. It was late, nearing midnight, as she packed herself and my sister Emma into the car to head to Columbia. “They want to keep her overnight, now. The doctor is running some tests to try and
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see if he can get more information about why she is feeling so poorly,”  my mother said, as she rushed out the door. What was happening to my life? An unsettling feeling weighed heavy as I drifted off to sleep that night.
The next morning began a whirlwind of activities. We were all piling into the car to head to church when my dad announced that we would be going to Columbia to see my sister at the hospital. Some news had come in, and Dad wanted to get there as quickly as possible. The drive was long, about an hour and a half, from our home. We arrived at the hospital and I was feeling nervous and anxious about the entire ordeal. The news eventually came out from my parents that my sister was sick. Very sick now, but it was about to get even worse. That morning Dr. Perry, as well as seven other hospital personnel, came in to deliver the news of my sister’s cancer: Acute Myelogenous Leukemia, known simply as AML. As you can imagine, my entire family broke down and begged for God’s mercy on my sweet sister. I remember that day I wore a heart necklace that my sister had given me, and I held onto it that afternoon at the park where my family quietly ate our picnic lunch. Trying to take in all of the changes that were about to take place and searching through my head how this even happens. They always say you never really think about cancer until it becomes reality for someone close to you. The next several months were a whirlwind. My mother stayed by my sister’s side each and every day of her illness, my family moved to Columbia for about a month during the first several chemo treatments, and my other sisters and I went into “mom” mode and took care of Gary full time. The switchover from being a child of twelve to being up at two in the morning with an eight-month-old was difficult. They say that people have an event in their lives that changes them from a child into an adult.
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That day in the hospital was that event for me. Everything changed. Yes, there were still the stupid fits that I would throw as a teen girl going through puberty, but overall, I changed significantly that 3rd day of July.
This journey continued on for another fourteen months. I lived in Columbia as a nanny to Gary with my other sisters for just over two years. My sister was in and out of the hospital for treatments. She was in the hospital more than she was home, but the times she got to come home were incredibly precious. She received a bone marrow transplant in November of 2006 with the help of my brother as the donor. I remember the news of her relapse the following February and her response. “We are heartbroken. This is not the news we wanted to hear. We wanted to raise our son, to grow old together, but God has different plans for our family. And as much as we don't understand them right now, we know that He is sovereign over this as well. Please pray for us, and for my family especially. My part in all of this is rather easy. I get to die and be with my Savior in glory. I get to miss out on all the suffering this world holds. It is my family who bears the grief and the pain day in and day out. It is for them that my heart breaks.  Hold your loved ones a little closer for me today. Live life a little more -- wear your dressy clothes around the house just because life is really short and stains don't really matter.
Don't get impatient about the little things. 
Someday we'll understand why.”
My sister passed away just seven months later. They had decided to proceed with a second bone marrow transplant, even though there was only a five percent chance of it working. I was my sister’s second donor. Five days before she passed away, I was in the hospital for the necessary
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tests and medical meetings with her doctors. Amy contracted a fungal pneumonia that was too much for her sick body to endure. Amy made the decision to have the oxygen turned off late Monday afternoon, on September 10th, 2007. Something that strongly inspired me was my sister’s ministry throughout her illness. She kept up with a blog that was read by people from all around the world. People would leave comments telling Amy that her faith caused them to think about spiritual things for the first time in many years. Amy’s faith and love of the Lord has inspired me to live my life for Christ and to use each day to show His love through my life.
Through my sister’s journey I experienced my own. This journey brought me to see my life in an entirely different manner. It taught me to appreciate each moment in my life even when that moment is uncomfortable for me. Through this journey, God has refined my life in many ways but especially by revealing that His grace and mercy cover all of my shortcomings.
Now when I look back, I have no idea how I managed to become a full-time mom with my sisters for Gary. I see now that it was entirely God’s grace and mercy, because I certainly was not strong enough to take that on. Gary and I were extremely close and he taught me so much in those two years. Gary and his dad moved away in 2009 to their home in Arizona. I miss him more than most people understand, but I know that God is watching over him. I pray that someday Gary sees and understands his mommy’s journey.
I am so thankful that God put this situation in our lives, even though it meant the loss of my sister. The work that God has done in lives all around the world is beautiful, and I know that Amy is thrilled to have been God’s messenger in this way.

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