3 1/2 Years

So the 10th marks 3 1/2 years since Amy died.

Yesterday marked the 3 1/2 years since I went up to Barns to have all of the tests taken for being the 2nd donor for another BMT.

She was so sick that day. The meds that she was on had her really confused and it was reminding us of how it was when Grandma Martin was sick. Thankfully, Jesus pulled her out of all of that confusion, and when she passed away that following Monday, she was clearly alert of it all.

It's beautiful to see what peace God has given me 3 1/2 years later. When some days my heart aches so badly for her that I feel like there's no possible way to go on and all I want is heaven, I remember all that Jesus has brought me through. How He saved me by His grace, and how He used her in other's lives so amazingly.

The other night I dreamed that Gary and Brandon surprised us and came to visit. I don't normally have very vivid dreams where I feel emotion, but I remember being so incredibly happy in that dream.

My sister was beautiful. She's my hero. But she was also human. She had feelings, she was a sinner, she could be mean when she wanted, she loved her family. She loved me. She loved Jesus most of all.

So what am I feeling, as the three and a half year marker arrives?

Peace. There is so much peace concerning her. She's with Christ. She's thrilled, she's singing praises to our Saviour each moment, she rejoices when a lost sinner is saved, and she feels no more pain.

My Mama said to me, that being on cemo is like having the flu. So basically, my sister felt like she had the flu for a year and a half. When I had the flu for a week, I felt like it would never end. I couldn't imagine it for a year and a half.

Hug your family, be kind, and thankful. Christ knows all things, even when we think that He doesn't. Even when our lives are so screwed up that we wonder how God could be getting *any* glory out of it, just trust Him. Because He doesn't put us into situations and then not have it glorify Him in the end.

Here's a song from today's service at church. Today's message was beautiful and I got so much out of it, by the grace of God.

Love to you and yours,
Bethan

Thanks to God for my Redeemer,
Thanks for all Thou dost provide!
Thanks for times now but a memory,
Thanks for Jesus by my side!
Thanks for pleasant, balmy springtime,
Thanks for dark and stormy fall!
Thanks for tears by now forgotten,
Thanks for peace within my soul!

Thanks for prayers that Thou hast answered,
Thanks for what Thou dost deny!
Thanks for storms that I have weathered,
Thanks for all Thou dost supply!
Thanks for pain, and thanks for pleasure,
Thanks for comfort in despair!
Thanks for grace that none can measure,
Thanks for love beyond compare!

Thanks for roses by the wayside,
Thanks for thorns their stems contain!
Thanks for home and thanks for fireside,
Thanks for hope, that sweet refrain!
Thanks for joy and thanks for sorrow,
Thanks for heavenly peace with Thee!
Thanks for hope in the tomorrow,
Thanks through all eternity!
John A. Hultman