Elizabeth Martin
College Comp 1
1/24/13
Hold
Onto the Ones You Love
It
was a hot July afternoon just two days before the 4th of July. My
mother picked up her phone and answered with a sweet “Hey, Amy! How are you?”
However, her tone quickly changed from happiness to concern. Something was
wrong, I could tell. My mother and my oldest sister Amy have been best friends
for years and know each other better than almost anyone. It was our family get-together
at my grandparents’ home in St. Louis. We were all having a wonderful day and
enjoying being around each other for the first time in several months. Amy was
unable to make it to the get-together because her husband was out of town and
she didn’t want to make the trip alone with Gary, her eight-month-old son. I was in my grandmother’s kitchen listening
to one side of my mother’s phone conversation. I anxiously stood by her side
asking questions as she shushed me so she could hear my sister. My mother finished the phone call with Amy,
and she let us know that my brother-in-law, Brandon, was taking Amy to Urgent
Care to check out the spider bite she had gotten several weeks prior. They had
just moved into their new home in Columbia, MO and they were dealing with some
insect issues. After my mother told me what was going on, I ran off to continue
enjoying the time with my cousins, trying not to think about the situation too
much.
We
arrived home that evening and my mother’s concern had grown more considerable.
It was late, nearing midnight, as she packed herself and my sister Emma into
the car to head to Columbia. “They want to keep her overnight, now. The doctor
is running some tests to try and
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see if he can get more
information about why she is feeling so poorly,” my mother said, as she rushed out the door.
What was happening to my life? An unsettling feeling weighed heavy as I drifted
off to sleep that night.
The
next morning began a whirlwind of activities. We were all piling into the car
to head to church when my dad announced that we would be going to Columbia to
see my sister at the hospital. Some news had come in, and Dad wanted to get
there as quickly as possible. The drive was long, about an hour and a half,
from our home. We arrived at the hospital and I was feeling nervous and anxious
about the entire ordeal. The news eventually came out from my parents that my
sister was sick. Very sick now, but it was about to get even worse. That
morning Dr. Perry, as well as seven other hospital personnel, came in to
deliver the news of my sister’s cancer: Acute Myelogenous Leukemia, known
simply as AML. As you can imagine, my entire family broke down and begged for
God’s mercy on my sweet sister. I remember that day I wore a heart necklace
that my sister had given me, and I held onto it that afternoon at the park
where my family quietly ate our picnic lunch. Trying to take in all of the
changes that were about to take place and searching through my head how this
even happens. They always say you never really think about cancer until it
becomes reality for someone close to you. The next several months were a
whirlwind. My mother stayed by my sister’s side each and every day of her
illness, my family moved to Columbia for about a month during the first several
chemo treatments, and my other sisters and I went into “mom” mode and took care
of Gary full time. The switchover from being a child of twelve to being up at
two in the morning with an eight-month-old was difficult. They say that people
have an event in their lives that changes them from a child into an adult.
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That
day in the hospital was that event for me. Everything changed. Yes, there were
still the stupid fits that I would throw as a teen girl going through puberty,
but overall, I changed significantly that 3rd day of July.
This
journey continued on for another fourteen months. I lived in Columbia as a
nanny to Gary with my other sisters for just over two years. My sister was in
and out of the hospital for treatments. She was in the hospital more than she
was home, but the times she got to come home were incredibly precious. She
received a bone marrow transplant in November of 2006 with the help of my
brother as the donor. I remember the news of her relapse the following February
and her response. “We are heartbroken. This is not the news we wanted to hear.
We wanted to raise our son, to grow old together, but God has different plans
for our family. And as much as we don't understand them right now, we know that
He is sovereign over this as well. Please pray for us, and for my family
especially. My part in all of this is rather easy. I get to die and be with my
Savior in glory. I get to miss out on all the suffering this world holds. It is
my family who bears the grief and the pain day in and day out. It is for them
that my heart breaks. Hold your loved ones a little closer for me today.
Live life a little more -- wear your dressy clothes around the house just
because life is really short and stains don't really matter.
Don't
get impatient about the little things.
Someday
we'll understand why.”
My sister passed away
just seven months later. They had decided to proceed with a second bone marrow
transplant, even though there was only a five percent chance of it working. I
was my sister’s second donor. Five days before she passed away, I was in the
hospital for the necessary
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tests and medical
meetings with her doctors. Amy contracted a fungal pneumonia that was too much
for her sick body to endure. Amy made the decision to have the oxygen turned
off late Monday afternoon, on September 10th, 2007. Something that
strongly inspired me was my sister’s ministry throughout her illness. She kept
up with a blog that was read by people from all around the world. People would
leave comments telling Amy that her faith caused them to think about spiritual
things for the first time in many years. Amy’s faith and love of the Lord has
inspired me to live my life for Christ and to use each day to show His love
through my life.
Through
my sister’s journey I experienced my own. This journey brought me to see my
life in an entirely different manner. It taught me to appreciate each moment in
my life even when that moment is uncomfortable for me. Through this journey,
God has refined my life in many ways but especially by revealing that His grace
and mercy cover all of my shortcomings.
Now
when I look back, I have no idea how I managed to become a full-time mom with
my sisters for Gary. I see now that it was entirely God’s grace and mercy,
because I certainly was not strong enough to take that on. Gary and I were
extremely close and he taught me so much in those two years. Gary and his dad
moved away in 2009 to their home in Arizona. I miss him more than most people
understand, but I know that God is watching over him. I pray that someday Gary
sees and understands his mommy’s journey.
I
am so thankful that God put this situation in our lives, even though it meant
the loss of my sister. The work that God has done in lives all around the world
is beautiful, and I know that Amy is thrilled to have been God’s messenger in
this way.
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